Counterfeit Monkey — 233 of 292

Emily Short

Release 5

Section 8 - M through O

The description of the mag is "It's a glossy magazine for photography enthusiasts on the island. There's a several page spread of tilt-shift images of the harbor, making it all look like a child's toy set." Understand "magazine" as the mag.

The description of the mall figurine is "It's a painted porcelain representation of a shopping mall. Delicate brushwork delineates the spaces in the parking lot, and the pharmacy sign has been modeled with special care." The mall figurine is fixed in place.

Sanity-check taking the mall figurine:

say "Look, it's bad enough we've transformed Higgate's fav[our]ite figurines without then stealing them." instead.

The mare is a female animal. The description of the mare is "She's a handsome creature, black all over, and with a long mane. She seems to belong to a novel for young girls, or possibly a music video."

The description of the mart is "One of those small markets selling mostly convenience foods and things that don't spoil quickly." The heft of a mart is 12.

The description of a mat is "A woven jute mat, the kind people leave outside their doors for cleaning your shoes. It's got a traditional border pattern of chard leaves and curling waves running around the outside."

Matt is a man. The description of Matt is "He's tall and lanky, apparently in his early thirties, casually dressed."

Mary is a woman. The description is "She's wearing a blue robe and a beatific expression."

The description of a May is usually "This is the sheet for the month of May, torn from a calendar. Someone has put a gold star on the 21st, and 'Dinner with the Shaplys' is penciled onto the 30th." The heft of the May is usually 1.

Meg is a woman. The description of Meg is "She's in her mid-sixties, with salt-and-pepper hair and a dry, rather sardonic smile."

The description of the member is "It is a figure of a member of the Committee to Establish an Orthodox Orthography. It is plastic, small enough to sit on our palm, and wears the stiff clothing and conservative hairstyle of about 1895. It looks slightly cross, as though the member has guessed its work would take another 15 years to complete."

The alterna-members are a naughty-sounding r-abstract thing. The printed name is "members". Understand "members" as the alterna-members. The description is "A group of floating green numbers, currently [a random number between 1 and 30], [a random number between 31 and 70], and [a random number between 71 and 100]: perhaps members of the set of integers, then?"

The alterna-member is a naughty-sounding r-abstract thing. The printed name is "member". Understand "member" as the alterna-member. The description is "A floating green number, currently [a random number between 1 and 50]: perhaps a member of the set of integers, then?"

The mile is r-abstract. The description of the mile is "It's odd: it doesn't look like anything, exactly, and moreover, it isn't even precisely [i]here[/i]. It's more as though we had an invisible mile-long measuring pole, extending from here into the far distance. The other end is not identifiable from here."

The mileage is r-abstract. The description of the mileage is "The mileage number stands at [car-mileage]."

The car-mileage is a number that varies.

Carry out going by a car:

increase the car-mileage by 1.

The mirth pail is a container. The description is "A gleaming metal pail with a yellow smily face painted on the side. Just occasionally something like the sound of laughter issues from it." The scent-description of the mirth pail is "steel and daffodils". The mirth pail is noisy.

Check inserting something which is not the grin into the mirth pail:

say "The mirth pail rejects [the noun]. Not funny enough, apparently." instead.

Report inserting the grin into the mirth pail:

say "The grin grows, if anything, broader as we set it down in its new home. ";

try listening to the mirth pail instead.

Instead of listening to the mirth pail:

say "[one of]There's a disconcerting chuckle[or]The pail laughs uproariously[or]The pail giggles[or]Snickers come out of the pail[at random]."

The description of the modem is "It is just a single instance of the same sort of modem."

The monk corpse bonnet is a wearable thing. It covers the head-area. The description is "It's a pioneer-styled lady's bonnet, except that the cloth is patterned all over with images of hanged monks, their tongues lolling out."

The morning dress is a thing. It is floppy and wearable. The description is "An outfit of striped trousers and fancy coat, such as men sometimes wear to fancy weddings in the morning."

After waving the letter-remover at something creating the morning dress:

now the morning dress is part of the clothing shop;

continue the action.

The description of the mote is "Almost invisible, almost lost.". The heft of the mote is 0.

The description of the motes is "A stream of dust, as one sometimes sees caught in a shaft of sun.". The heft of the motes is 0.

The description of the motet is "It's some sort of choral piece. I can't identify it; but then I don't think Atlantis is long on music of this kind, and most of the foreign-language musical forms are carefully restricted on the island. Hard to become a Bach expert around here.". The motet is noisy. Understand "music" as the motet.

The description of the motets is "The music sounds like many people singing many different things at once.". The motets are noisy. Understand "music" as motets.

The motte is a supporter. The description of the motte is "Fortunately it has come in small model form rather than in full size. The motte is a substantial artificial hill, which would have been part of an early style of fortification. Artificial grass covers the mound." Understand "artificial grass" or "model" or "grass" as the motte.

Report putting the army on the motte:

say "[You] arrange the army around the motte in position to storm up the sides of the hill.

It looks wrong, of course, because the motte belongs to medieval castle construction and the army is decorated for the late 19th, but this wouldn't trouble a small child, and we mustn't be deterred by it either." instead.

The mottes are a supporter. The heft of the mottes is 4. The description of the mottes is "A model of several artificial hills used for fortification. It looks like part of a children's toy-soldier set, but the other pieces are not included. Artificial grass covers the imaginary mounds." Understand "artificial grass" or "model" or "grass" as the mottes.

Report putting the army on the mottes:

say "[You] arrange the army around the mottes in position to storm up the sides of the most significant hill.

It looks wrong, of course, because the motte belongs to medieval castle construction and the army is decorated for the late 19th, but this wouldn't trouble a small child, and we mustn't be deterred by it either." instead.

[In releases 1 and 2, there was an MRA, a men's rights activist, resulting from reversing the arm. But its description in retrospect seemed more mean-spirited than funny, and also not a very good fit for the story. So I took it out.]

The mu is an illegal r-abstract thing. The description is "μ. Just the letter, but that's a dangerous thing around here."

The mug is a container. The heft of the mug is 2. The carrying capacity of the mug is 1.

The description of the mug is "It's a super-sized black mug with 'TEA INSERTION GROUP' on the side in crisp white letters. Must be an employee gift over at Dental Consonants Limited."

Check inserting something into the mug when the heft of the noun is greater than 1:

say "[The noun] [is-are] too large to fit inside the mug." instead.

The multiple dropkick cancan is a noisy r-abstract thing. The description is "Legs. Kicking. Wild skirling music. Skirts. Rugby balls. Fragile objects. It's awfully frenetic. Left to itself it would do massive property damage.".

Instead of listening to the multiple dropkick cancan:

say "[one of]The music of the multiple dropkick cancan starts out reasonably tame[or]The tempo of the multiple dropkick cancan is increasing[or]The multiple dropkick cancan emits a sound of crashing and banging in time to the music[or]Faster and faster the multiple dropkick cancan whirls through its tune[or]The multiple dropkick cancan ends with the sound of dozens of legs kicking dozens of fragile objects across dozens of Parisian night-clubs[or]From the multiple dropkick cancan comes a moment of silence[cycling]."

Mut is an r-abstract woman. The description is "She has the kohl-lined eyes and deep black hair of an Egyptian goddess; and if we look at her from the corner of the eye, we see not a woman, but a great white vulture, the mother of Egypt, the primordial force from which all else was made."

The greeting of Mut is "She says something, but it comes out as much like bird cry as anything else."

The mutt is an animal. The heft of the mutt is 3. The description is "It's a dog of no particular breed, covered in scruffy brown fur, slightly larger than the average Scotty dog."

The description of the mutual punch is "It's a very heavy, industrial hole punch, something from a 1950s office, for drilling through multiple pieces of paper at once."

Sanity-check inserting something into the mutual punch:

if the noun is a notepad or the noun is a ream:

try punching the noun instead;


say "[The noun] will not slide into the punch." instead.

Punching is an action applying to one thing.

Understand "punch [something]" as punching when the mutual punch is visible.

Sanity-check punching something:

unless the noun is a notepad or the noun is a ream:

say "[The noun] will not slide into the punch." instead.

Report punching something:

say "[The mutual punch] drives a small, tidy hole through [the noun]." instead.

Test punching with "tutorial off / punch me / load gun / shoot punch / punch me / punch jotter / wave p-remover at the preamps / wave s-remover at the reams / put ream in punch" in the Equipment Archive holding the anagramming gun and the bullets and the jotter and the preamps.

The nap is a thing. The heft of the nap is 1. The description is "It's a wad of fuzz from cloth [--] similar to lint."

The description of a net is usually "A modest-sized net with a fine mesh, suitable for removing tropical fish from a tank."

The description of the nib is "Just the very end of an expensive fountain pen, the sort of thing important men used a hundred years ago. Something much like this must have been used on all those notes that went into composing the New Orthodox Othography."

The description of a nit is "A little black dot almost too small to see. It'll be gone if we're not careful." The heft of the nit is 1.

The description of nitrate is "It's a soluble white powder and it smells funny, ammonia-like.". The indefinite article is "some".

The noted drum act is a noisy woman. The description of the noted drum act is "[if the drum kit is part of the noted drum act]The drummer has manifested along with her drum kit, all as some kind of unified construction[else]The drummer, deprived of her kit, is now standing around looking sullen and antisocial[end if]."

The drum kit is part of the noted drum act. The drum kit is an instrument. Understand "cymbals" or "high hat" or "drums" as the drum kit. The description of the drum kit is "There's at least one of every kind of drum I know of. I should add that I'm not an expert in drums."

A dangerous destruction rule for the drum kit:

now the noted drum act is not noisy.

Instead of listening to the noted drum act when the drum kit is part of the noted drum act:

say "[The noted drum act] [one of]offers an all-rhythm rendition of the opening to Beethoven's Fifth[or]beats a tattoo on the cymbals[or]makes startlingly inventive use of the high hat[at random]."

The description of the noted drum fact is "A half sheet of cream-col[our]ed printer paper on which someone has written, '[one of]A drum is a musical instrument that produces sound by means of vibration[or]Drums come in many shapes and sizes[or]A membranophone is a musical instrument whose sound comes from a vibrating stretched skin or membrane[or]The Blue Island Marching Band plays snare drums, tenor drums, and bass drums[at random].'"

The oaf is a man. The description of the oaf is "Great, blundering, with a big red nose and fists like hams."

The description of the oar is "It's a light sort of oar, almost a paddle. Still probably not the ideal thing for use with a kayak, but it'll do." The oar is long. The oar is strong. The heft of the oar is 2.

The scent-description of the oar is "brine and wet wood".

The description of the oat is "A single dry cut oat." The heft of the oat is 1.

Instead of eating the oat:

say "It's just one grain; not exactly a meal, even if I were feeling inclined to eat something right now."

The oboe is an instrument. The description of the oboe is "It's a reed instrument with a lot of metal hardware outside. Neither of us has ever learned to play, so lack the expertise to say whether it's a good or bad version of the instrument." Understand "instrument" or "reed" or "hardware" as the oboe.

Report performing something on the oboe:

say "Untrained as we are, all [you] get to come out of the oboe is an embarrassing duck-blatt." instead.

Report improvising the topic understood on the oboe:

say "Untrained as we are, all [you] get to come out of the oboe is an embarrassing duck-blatt." instead.

Understand "blow [oboe]" as performing vaguely on.

Test oboe with "hard mode / y / tutorial off / load gun / look / open station / get balm / shoot balm / put lamb in bucket / x oboe / blow oboe / play oboe / play music on oboe / play chopsticks on oboe" in the generator room holding the anagramming gun and the bullets.

The description of the ode is "A short poem, letter-pressed attractively on a sheet of thick paper. It is entitled 'Our Ancestors, The Immortal Spirits of the Pyramids,' a fact which disinclines me to study the rest." Understand "poem" as the ode. The scent-description of the ode is "paper".

Instead of searching the ode:

say "A quick survey of the first verse reveals two metrical errors and a very dodgy rhyme of 'Ra' and 'car.'"

Instead of listening to the ode:

say "It is mercifully silent. I don't think reading it aloud would improve my opinion of the thing."

Instead of frowning at or laughing at the ode:

say "Yes, I share your critical sentiments exactly."

Instead of smiling at the ode:

say "[You] smile derisively."

The description of the odes-book is "A slender volume of poetry, bound between red covers. It looks completely harmless and is written in English.

The blurb on the back describes it as a 'collection of meditations' on Atlantis['] imaginary roots, which is to say, a lot of stuff about magic-wielding Phoenicians, Knights Templar, refugees from the Tower of Babel, space aliens, cabalistic mysticism, and Lully's combinatorics[one of].

It fits in perfectly with the rest of Lena's selection. Really amazing work. I've seen other people who were able to do impressive things with local field distortions [--] think hard enough and you can prejudice the outcome of a linguistic transition.

But this... this is detail work like I haven't seen. My hat is off.

Or would be if I were wearing a hat and taking it off didn't mean making you take it off too[or][stopping]."

The scent-description of the odes-book is "old book".

The odes-book is plural-named.

Understand "poems" or "poetry" or "book" as the odes-book.

The odes-book is a book. The contents of the odes-book is the Table of Poem Listing. The printed name of odes-book is "odes". Understand "book" or "odes" as the odes-book.

Table of Poem Listing

"magic" or "magic-wielding" or "Phoenicians""The poet sees the invention of the alphabet as a magical feat, one that somehow tied in with navigation abilities and the capacity to read the stars. Thanks to these twin magical abilities (apparently), the Phoenicians were able to reach the shores of Atlantis."
"knights" or "templar" or "knights templar""I'm not quite sure, because the language is deliberately obscure, but I think it's meant as an indictment of religious avocation. But I'm not sure. It could mean just the opposite. There's a lot about shining arm[our] and metal and crosses and red and white."
"refugees/refugee" or "tower of babel" or "tower" or "babel" or "from" or "refugee/refugees from the tower of babel" or "refugee/refugees from tower of babel" or "refugee/refugees from the tower" or "refugee/refugees from tower" or "refugee/refugees from babel""Briefly explores the conceit that a few possessors of the true original language of the world escaped to Atlantis after the wreck of the Tower of Babel."
"space" or "aliens/alien" or "space alien/aliens" or "extraterrestrials" or "UFO/UFOs""I'm not sure the poet of this one was taking the task entirely seriously, because he suggests that UFOs landed in Atlantis and imbued the population with pseudo-telepathic abilities through a form of genetically modified chard."
"cabalistic mysticism" or "cabal" or "cabalism" or "mysticism""A long poem about golems and false things. I think it's meant for a warning about the result of calling abstracts to life."
"lully" or "lully's" or "combinatorics" or "combinatoric""Clever, strange, angular verse about the visions of Lully and the idea that all things could be constructed via a sequence of signs. The idea is that the universe was made by language, not vice versa."

The description of the officer is "A single, irate-looking officer."

The printed name of the offices-thing is "offices". The description of the offices-thing is "A whole configuration of cubicles: it's come out as small as possible and yet still takes up a substantial amount of space. It's frankly surprising that it didn't squash anyone."

The heft of the Ohio is 20. The description of the Ohio is "All I get is a confused impression of factories and battleground politics before the whole thing comes crashing down on us."

The description of an oil is "A can of what appears to be motor oil. It is sludgy and black." The indefinite article of the oil is "some". The scent-description of an oil is "mechanics and the summer time". The printed name of an oil is "oil". Understand "oil" or "can" or "motor oil" as oil.

Understand "cans" as the plural of oil.

Oil is fluid and contained.

Rule for printing the plural name of oil:

say "cans of oil".

Instead of tasting oil:

say "Once again, your ideas disturb me."

The description of the oil-painting is "Just one painting, but a very valuable one nonetheless, showing Ms Shaply as a young woman." Understand "oil" or "painting" as the oil-painting. The printed name of the oil-painting is "oil painting".

The orc is a man. Understand "grunk" as the orc. The description of the orc is "He's dressed in the traditional smelly pants of an orcish pig farmer."

The greeting of the orc is "'Orc happy to meet stranger,' says the orc."

The description of the orc-swords is "A heap of junky plastic fantasy swords, too flimsy to support even the most basic roleplaying purposes. Possibly they're a souvenir of some sort?" The heft of the orc-swords is 6. The printed name of the orc-swords is "orc swords".

The orc-word is noisy. The printed name of the orc-word is "orc word". Understand "orc" or "word" as the orc-word. The description of the orc-word is "Something snarling and full of hard consonants. I think this must be from someone's constructed language, and whatever it is bears a resemblance to Klingon."

The heft of the ore is 3. The description of the ore is "A quantity of rough-hewn, rusty-col[our]ed rocks. Looks like we wound up with iron ore rather than anything more valuable." Understand "iron" or "rusty" or "rocks" or "rough-hewn" or "rusty-colored" or "rusty-coloured" as the ore.

An otter is an animal. The description is "Sleek, black, whiskered, and somewhat out of place on dry land."

The scent-description is "fish and sea air".

Every turn:

if the otter can see sea-view and the otter is in the location:

remove the otter from play;

say "The otter notices the proximity of watery freedom and makes a break for it. Your last glimpse is of a sleek black head bobbing among the waves."

The description of the oyster turd is "Gross.

Well, it's actually just a sort of slimy stuff, and there's not a lot of it, as oysters are small and have simple digestive systems.

But still, not what you'd put into a glossy brochure touting the miracles of letter manipulation."

The heft of the Oz is 20. The description of the Oz is "Look, we've got ourselves a shiny new Australia. It's pretty large, though, isn't it?"