Counterfeit Monkey — 255 of 292

Emily Short

Release 5

Section 1 - The Farmer

The greeting of the farmer is "The farmer [one of]makes a little cluck sound which seems to mean that he sees us but doesn't care to waste an entire syllable on acknowledging it[or]nods at us[stopping]."

The generic adversative of the farmer is "[one of]frankly[or]honestly[or]to be honest[at random]".

The generic confrontational of the farmer is "look, lady".

Understand "ask [farmer] for [any farmer-carried thing]" as requesting it from (with nouns reversed). Requesting it from is an action applying to two visible things.

The farmer exhibits unhelpfulness.

The farmer knows you-are-possible-customer.

Instead of asking the farmer to try giving a farmer-carried thing to the player:

try requesting the noun from the farmer.

Definition: a thing is farmer-carried if the farmer carries it.

Carry out requesting it from:

let N be a random quip which mentions the noun;

try discussing N instead.

Availability rule for what seems for sale:

if the farmer carries something, make no decision;

otherwise it is off-limits.

Before buying something from the farmer when the player does not recollect what seems for sale:

if the farmer is not the current interlocutor:

try saying hello to the farmer;

try discussing what seems for sale;

follow the conversation-reply rules. [because we also want him to answer.]

what seems for sale is a questioning quip.

The printed name is "what is for sale". The true-name is "what seems for sale".

Understand "is" or "market" as what seems for sale.

It mentions farmer.

The comment is "'What is for sale?' we ask.".

The response is "'[one of]We have available [a list of things carried by the farmer][or]I got [a list of things carried by the farmer][or]All that's left this time of day is [a list of things carried by the farmer][at random],' the farmer replies.".

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It is repeatable.

Availability rule for what seems for sale-2:

if the farmer carries something, it is off-limits;

otherwise make no decision.

what seems for sale-2 is a questioning quip.

The printed name is "what is for sale". The true-name is "what seems for sale-2".

Understand "is" or "sale" as what seems for sale-2.

It mentions farmer.

The comment is "'What is for sale?' we ask.".

The response is "'Oh, nothing,' says the farmer. 'But as my mother-in-law is in town, I thought I would make the most of the market day.' He smiles at us.".

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It is repeatable.

what the fair seems for-2 is a questioning quip.

The printed name is "what the fair is for". The true-name is "what the fair seems for-2".

Understand "is" as what the fair seems for-2.

It mentions celebration.

The comment is "'What is this all about, anyway?'".

The response is "'Cereal Day,' the farmer answers inaccurately. 'It's to celebrate, I guess, grains. And other agricultural products,' he adds.".

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It is background-information.

Instead of someone (called annoyee) discussing a purchasing quip when the player does not enclose the bills:

now the current mood of the annoyee is distrustful;

say "[one of]It is at this moment that we remember we don't have any money. We make up some nonsense about having had our wallet stolen. [The annoyee] does not quite look convinced, but does not summon the authorities, either.[or][The annoyee] looks less than completely charmed when we once again turn out to be flat broke.[or][The annoyee] more or less ignores us.[stopping]".

Before discussing a purchasing quip when the player does not enclose the bills and the previous quip is a purchasing quip:

[In other words, we've just failed a buy once]

say "Let's not push our luck, shall we? If we find some money, we can come back later. At least, you told me you were going to provide the cash. I know I trusted you on that score, because I don't have any." instead.

[A purchasing quip is a kind of performative quip. Understand "purchase" as a purchasing quip.]

To say dubious response:

say "'[when distrustful]If I can see the col[our] of your money first...? Ah, good then,[at other times]Sure thing,[end when]'";

now the current mood of the farmer is neutral.

Availability rule for buy the yam:

if the farmer does not carry the white-yam, it is off-limits;

make no decision.

buy the yam is a purchasing quip.

Understand "buy yam" as buy the yam.

It mentions white-yam, farmer.

The comment is "'I'll have the yam, please,' we say.".

The response is "[dubious response] says the farmer[you-are-past-customer].".

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It is repeatable.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

Carry out the farmer discussing buy the yam:

[follow the considerate player's holdall rule;]

move the white-yam to the player.

Test yam with "talk to farmer / a what / buy yam / go to roget close / n / put yam on spinner / n" in Hesychius Street holding the roll of bills.

Availability rule for buy the lime:

if the farmer does not carry the lime, it is off-limits;

make no decision.

buy the lime is a purchasing quip.

Understand "buy lime" as buy the lime.

It mentions lime, farmer.

The comment is "'I'll have the lime, please,' we say.".

The response is "[dubious response] says the farmer[you-are-past-customer].".

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It is repeatable.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

Carry out the farmer discussing buy the lime:

[follow the considerate player's holdall rule;]

move the lime to the player.

Availability rule for buy the asparagus:

if the farmer does not carry the asparagus, it is off-limits;

make no decision.

buy the asparagus is a purchasing quip.

Understand "buy asparagus" as buy the asparagus.

It mentions asparagus, farmer.

The comment is "'I'll have the asparagus, please,' we say.".

The response is "[dubious response] says the farmer[you-are-past-customer].".

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It is repeatable.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

Carry out the farmer discussing buy the asparagus:

[follow the considerate player's holdall rule;]

move the asparagus to the player.

whether he dons overalls is a questioning quip.

The printed name is "whether he wears overalls". The true-name is "whether he dons overalls".

Understand "wears" or "if" as whether he dons overalls.

It mentions Fashion.

The comment is "'Say, do you ever wear overalls?' we ask pertly.".

The response is "He shifts his jaw a little to one side. [when distrustful]'No,' he says curtly. Evidently we aren't his fav[our]ite people. Person. Whatever.[at other times]'I used to, but my wife took a dislike,' he says.[end when]".

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It is background-information.

[This pointless bit of cheeseshop-style foolishness doesn't really accomplish anything, but for some reason my beta-testers kept coming up with new vegetables to ask him about until I expanded the range of conversation quite a bit. I'm not sure it adds anything other than a note of silliness to this portion of the game; the farmer is effectively a toy, since there are no essential objects among the things he has for sale.]

recommend other vegetables is a performative quip.

Understand "radishes" or "radish" or "radicchio" or "chicory" or "carrot" or "carrots" or "cabbages" or "cabbage" or "corn" as recommend other vegetables.

It mentions food.

The comment is "'Have you ever considered selling radishes?' we ask.".

The response is "'Not really,' he says. [paragraph break]'Radicchio?' [paragraph break]'No.' [paragraph break]'Chicory?' we try. 'Cabbage? Carrot? Corn?' [paragraph break]'Again, no.' [paragraph break]'Radishes?' [paragraph break]'You already said radishes.' [when distrustful]He seems increasingly annoyed with our pestering.[at other times]He has the faintly martyred expression of one hum[our]ing us; but it doesn't look as though he has much else to do.[end when]".

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

recommend artichokes is an unlisted performative quip.

Understand "artichokes" or "broccoli" or "cauliflower" or "brussels sprouts" as recommend artichokes.

The comment is "'What about those vegetables that are like flowers?' we suggest. 'Do you have any artichokes or cauliflower?'".

The response is "'No.'

'Broccoli?'

'Not that either.'

'Brussels sprouts?'

'Subject to import laws,' he says stiffly. 'Though there's a move on to have them renamed Kentish sprouts.'".

It mentions food.

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

recommend tomatoes is an unlisted performative quip.

Understand "tomato" or "tomatillo" or "eggplant" or "aubergine" or "peppers" or "pepper" or "squash" or "gourds" or "gourd" or "chayote" or "avocado" or "avocadoes" or "okra" or "chili" or "chile" or "hot" or "bell" or "pumpkin" or "pumpkins" or "cucumber" or "cucumbers" or "zucchini" or "courgette" or "courgettes" as recommend tomatoes.

The comment is "'What do you think of tomatoes or tomatilloes?' we ask.".

The response is "'Nothing against them, just don't grow them,' he replies.

'Avocado? Eggplants? Bell peppers? Hot peppers?'

He shakes his head.

'What about something in the squash or gourd line? Zucchini, perhaps, or winter squash? Fairytale pumpkin? Ordinary pumpkin, for that matter?'

'No. And before you ask, a no doubt incomplete list of the other squashes I don't carry are acorn, ambercup, banana, butternut, buttercup, carnival, delicata, gold nugget, hubbard, and turban.'

That does me out of squashes, but you add helpfully, 'Kabocha?'

'Japanese,' he replies darkly. 'Can't grow that here.'".

It mentions food.

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

recommend lettuce is an unlisted performative quip.

Understand "lettuce" or "chard" or "endive" or "arugula" or "cress" or "kale" or "savoy" or "collards" or "iceberg" or "red" or "spinach" or "purslane" or "sorrel" or "nettles" or "nasturtiums" as recommend lettuce.

The comment is "'Salad greens would be good.'".

The response is "'I'm flat out of chard,' he says. 'Before you ask.'

'No? Iceberg lettuce? Red lettuce? Cress, kale, arugula? Collards or endive? Spinach? Savoy?'

'None. Also no sorrel, nettles, or nasturtiums.'".

It mentions food.

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

recommend tubers is an unlisted performative quip.

Understand "potatoes" or "potato" or "sweet potato" or "taro" or "jicama" or "crosne" or "casava" as recommend tubers.

The comment is "'Would you happen to feature anything in the potato line?'".

The response is "'I would not.'

'Taro? Jicama? Casava or crosne?'

'None of the above. Just the yam.'".

It mentions food.

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

recommend onions is an unlisted performative quip.

Understand "onion" or "chive" or "chives" or "garlic" or "leeks" or "leek" or "scallion" or "scallions" or "shallots" or "shallot" as recommend onions.

The comment is "'I do like a zingy vegetable,' we say. 'Chives, onions, garlic...'".

The response is "'Don't have those, and don't have shallots or scallions either,' he says. 'Nor leeks nor water chestnuts.'".

It mentions food.

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

recommend beets is an unlisted performative quip.

Understand "beet" or "root vegetables" or "roots" or "burdock" or "celeriac" or "malanga" or "parsnips" or "parsnip" or "rutabaga" as recommend beets.

The comment is "'How do you feel about a good root vegetable? Parsnips or rutabaga or beets?'".

The response is "'Don't care for them.' Probably not a fan of burdock or celeriac or malanga either, then. You do know a lot of words, though. It's fun sharing your head.".

It mentions food.

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

recommend peas is an unlisted performative quip.

Understand "beans" or "bean" or "pea" or "lentil" or "lentils" or "legumes" or "legume" as recommend peas.

The comment is "'You could do a good line in legumes,' we suggest. 'Beans, lentils, soya.'".

The response is "'Naw.'

'You don't want to give peas a chance?'

He doesn't reply to this sally.

'Peanuts? Lupins? Clover? Alfalfa, carob, mesquite?'

[when distrustful]He grits his teeth without answering.[at other times]'None of the above.'[end when]".

It mentions food, pea.

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

recommend seaweed is an unlisted performative quip.

Understand "seaweed" or "seakale" or "wakame" or "sea grape" or "belt" or "nori" or "kombu" or "badderlocks" or "dulse" or "dillisk" or "carola" or "aonori" as recommend seaweed.

The comment is "'How about seaweeds?' we ask. 'Seakale, sea grape, sea lettuce, sea belt?'".

The response is "'Naw.'

'Wakame, nori, dulse or dillisk? Kombu? Corola?''

'I'm more of a grown-on-land man myself,' he says.

'Badderlocks? Gutweed? Thongweed? Bladderwrack? Curly gristle moss?'

'Now I know you are making things up.'".

It mentions food.

It quip-supplies the farmer.

It indirectly-follows what seems for sale.

Availability rule for where cars seem:

if a car is seen:

it is off-limits;

make no decision.

where cars seem is an unlisted questioning quip.

Understand "chard" as where cars seem. The printed name is "where cars are".

The comment is "'I'm looking to make a car,' we say. 'With a letter-remover.'"

The response is "'Maybe you need some carob,' he suggests. 'Take out the O, then the B...'

'Do you carry carob?'

'No. You could use some carp, though. There might be some at the fish market.'

'I would need the car to get to the fish market,' we say.

'That is a conundrum,' he agrees, pleased by the logical loopiness of this problem.

'I was hoping for a vegetable source I could get around here.'

'Bit uninventive, but of course there's always chard,' he says. 'Lots of people get around in a chard car. Not fancy, but it works.'

'Then do you have chard?'

'Afraid not. Sells out fast on Cereal Day, you know.'"

It quip-supplies the farmer.

Every car is mentioned by where cars seem.

Instead of waving letter-remover at farmer creating fame:

say "[The second noun] flickers and there is a brief image of [a generated object] in [its-their of the second noun] place [--] the concept strangely embodied in a physical form [--] before the power gives out.[paragraph break]";

say "'Young lady, you just bought yourself a long, long jail term,' says the farmer. 'What, did you think I wouldn't notice what you just tried to do?'

I open my mouth to try to talk him out of it, but his thumb has already hit speed dial. I guess when your profession places you at this kind of risk, you tend to be ready for trouble.";

end the game saying "I was expecting more discretion from you".