Counterfeit Monkey — 283 of 292

Emily Short

Release 5

Chapter 3 - Hints about Useless Scenery

Report requesting hint about an unlocked door:

say "[The noun] is unlocked, which seems sufficient for the time being." instead.

Report requesting hint about a scenery container:

if something is in the noun:

say "The only interesting thing about [the noun] is that [it-they] contain[s] [a list of things in the noun]." instead;

say "I don't think [the noun] is likely to be of great significance to us, unless there's something useful inside." instead.

Report requesting hint about a scenery thing:

say "[The noun] [is-are] too large to be converted into anything with the letter tools at our disposal, I think." instead.

Report requesting hint about the altar:

say "[one of]It is going to take something other than prayer to get us out of here[or]I don't think there's anything useful we can do with the altar[or]There might be something minorly amusing to do with the altar, but it won't solve any of our problems[stopping]." instead.

Report requesting hint about the customs house:

say "The customs house is only useful for people who are leaving the island. The less we have to do with it before then, the better." instead.

Report requesting hint about a screen which is part of something (called the parent computer):

say "[The noun] [is-are] just there to let us read the output of [the parent computer]." instead.

Report requesting hint about portholes:

say "[The noun] [is-are] only there to let in the light. I don't think we can use [it-them] for anything." instead.

Report requesting hint about a drain:

say "[The noun] [is-are] an ordinary part of the plumbling here, but not terribly important." instead.

Report requesting hint about a blanket:

say "[The noun] [is-are]n't likely to be a lot of help to us." instead.

Report requesting hint about some sheets:

say "[The noun] [is-are]n't likely to be a lot of help to us." instead.

Report requesting hint about a pillow:

say "[The noun] [is-are]n't likely to be a lot of help to us." instead.

[Report requesting hint about the desk-attendant:

say "I don't think she can help us with much. She might be able to make a bit of conversation, but to be honest, the less of an impression we make on her, the better." instead.]

Report requesting hint about the gift shop volunteer:

say "To me, he looks like a slightly bored old man. Chat with him if you want, but I don't think he's going to solve any major problems for us." instead.

Report requesting hint about the depluralizing cannon:

say "If it weren't for this thing, Anglophone Atlantis wouldn't exist — not as an independent country, anyhow. That said, I don't think we're going to find a use for it ourselves, and that's just as well. Depluralizing people is typically considered a war crime." instead.